... pretty much any wedding-related decision that involves choosing one friend over another. It can't be done! Especially the wedding party; Clay and I are at a complete standstill when it comes to determining who will stand still with us at our wedding. (Ok, besides the bride and groom. We're pretty confident we've got those two people all figured out.)
Seriously, when did these decisions become so difficult?
Right after we got engaged, one of the first things we did was head to the local Fredericksburg liquor store and buy ourselves a bottle of champagne to celebrate. (That and a bottle of red wine. Ok, and maybe a 6-pack of Shiner Black, too. See? Baaad decision-makers, the two of us.) We took our champagne out to the Fain Ranch, spent an amazing day in the beautiful Texas Hill Country, and fantasized about our bridesmaids, our groomsmen, our wedding, our future lives together.
Up until that point (almost 5 years), we'd never really indulged in that kind of talk with one another; by far, not all of it at once. Hinted at: yes. Teased about: of course. Discussed in piecemeal: sure. But for both of us to come out with it all, these feelings we'd been harboring for God knows how long, made everything feel so... liberating. Like a breath of fresh air. It felt like we were two little kids, best friends sharing secrets out in the middle of nowhere, where no one else could hear us or discover us or find out our secret mission.
It all felt so innocent and carefree and wonderful back then, but now that we're staring at overdue deadlines and faced with real decision-making for the wedding... well... I can't speak for Clay, but it makes me want to pour another glass, or throw a small hissy-fit, even shed a little tear. (Did I mention I'm a fully-grown adult? Yeah, sometimes I forget that, too.)
Patience, Meredith. And fortitude. And mental resolve. We will get there. (Deep breath.) And soon. And then we'll look back on our nonsensical worrying and wonder what the big fuss was all about.
Such is the circle of wedding life, I'm learning all too well.
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