Methods of Self-Therapy

Lately I’ve been getting more caught up than usual in the wedding planning craziness. Guest lists, flowers, timelines… details, details, details.

And when that happens, I’ve started telling myself… Guess what! It doesn’t really matter! None of this really matters. As long as Clay and I have our relationship in a good place, with a good solid foundation, none of the colors, or registry items, or shower guest lists really matter. It means nothing. Those details, well, they’re inconsequential.

Which is partly true. The whole solid relationship bit. Only, here’s the thing:

I have a really hard time telling myself not to care. Convincing myself to blow off decisions is not exactly my M.O. Become indifferent, become apathetic... I’m just not that kind of person. Not even close. I’m more of an all-or-nothing type gal. I’ve been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and then put that same heart into anything I do. (85% of me agrees with this statement; I like to think I’ve got a little more grit under my fingers than that, for the record.)

So. Though telling myself that “nothing matters” actually alleviates some of the wedding planning pressure, I worry about the longer-term implications of quieting my ambition. I don’t want to look back on my engagement remembering that I numbed myself into not caring anymore. I’d much rather revise my personal pep talk now. Change it so that the message doesn’t penalize me for caring too much. Avoid the risk of killing a little part of my soul.

"Shall I remind you, dearest,
that the reason you care so much, sometimes even worry so much,
is because there still exists between you and life,
a passionate love affair.
And because of this, everything's going to be just fine."
[via Notes from the Universe]

So how do I calm myself down when I get over-hyped? What do I say to myself to put things into perspective? Finding a new support mantra will be my top personal task for the next month. Ready… go!