Lessons from a Bride-to-Be

Being a bride-to-be is one of the more admittedly insane periods of my life. I've gotten in touch with my girlish side, touched on a few hormonal nerves, and lately rediscovered my old patterns of insomnia and restlessness. (Good God, I hope this isn't a glimpse into a future (way future) neurotic pregnancy. Hold me now.)

But if I've inherited any traits from my German & Alsatian ancestry, it's this: that I am one scrappy Fraulein. I make due with limited resources (like sleep). I find ways to make things work. And all along the way, I try to remain as open as possible to the life lessons just waiting for me to discover them. Sappy, I know. But who are you to judge an open heart?

Here are some things I've been learning lately from the School of Engaged Life:

1. Learning how to let go. How to divide and conquer. How to pass off tasks to friends and family and not be so worried that I'm putting them out or over-burdening them. Because asking for help is okay. (Really, it is. Promise.) Because it can't all be done alone. And even if it could, what's the fun in that? Weddings are one of the more joyful events in life, right? Share the love!

2. Learning more about myself. What I like. What I envision. What traditional elements are important to me (like reciting vows), and which ones are not (like not seeing Clay the morning of the big day). Weddings are like a crash-course in self-affirmation. A litmus test for your current taste and style. I can't tell you how many married women have approached me in my wedding planning and admitted all the things they themselves wish they'd done differently. Who knows? Five years from now, I may look back and say, Gray bridesmaids dresses? Really? A little drab, much, don't you think Mere? (Or I might gush secretly to myself and go, Aw, good job girl!)

3. Learning to be a better decision-maker. Which, for the record, has never been my strong suit. I'm too much of an easy-going, go-with-the-flow, "whatever everybody else wants to do" type-person to have ever truly succeeded at that "my-way-or-the-highway" role. With weddings, there are umpteen-million decisions to be made (fact), most of which I don't really care about. (Which table linen fabric? Uh, the normal kind?) But then again, I do care. (Definitely satin, with maybe some texture, oh and does it come in natural colors?) I mean, it's my wedding. When else in life do you get the unique opportunity to gather family and friends together in one place, on this large of a scale, where the main objective is to celebrate love? I feel like I owe it to them - to my future self, to my mom, to posterity's sake - to make the best decisions possible for this once-in-a-lifetime event. (Uh, no pressure there, hon.)

Anyway, I'm clearly a work in progress. (Just like this wedding.) I've never really stopped growing and evolving; it just seems that lately my growth has been expedited to a much more rapid pace. Although some days I still don't feel like being an adult. Eh. Two steps forward, one step back, right?

One thing I'm certain of, you can expect many more of these little lessons to be shared before this whole engagement business ends. I'll take what I can get. Sort it all out later. And in the meantime, just try to hang on and enjoy this free and wild ride.

Blogging: The Cure for the Common Blahs

Ever since I began my humble little blog over four months ago, I've started noticing a change in myself. Something... different. Not only do I think bloggy thoughts, and say out loud things like, Ooh! That would be good for the blog!, but I've also noticed a change in energy. An increase in original thought. A pep in my step, a dip in my hip, if you will.

[via magnusfranklin on Flickr]

All pointing to confirmation of my theory that blogging is a good cure for the common blahs. You know, when you go through those doldrum periods that are full of the ho-hums and the so-whats. The blahs. I know you people know what I'm talking about. Well, blogging, or writing, or being creative in general, is a way to get out of that funk and start seeing things for what they really are. I'm constantly looking for something to write about, which in turn means that my eyes and ears are open that much wider to new thoughts and ideas.

Here are things that you can blog about (or write about) on your own:

1. An interest (like books, or music, or bicycling, or DIY)
2. A challenge (a la Julie & Julia, or like my friend Jessica's blog below)
3. Your everyday life (because sometimes we need an outlet for our thoughts/ emotions)

But if sharing, or expressing, or writing is just not your cup of tea, I think you can still hit the recharge button by reading other creative material. From real people. Material that is honest, exciting, and personal, to give true insight and inspiration as to what individuals are doing on their own. And there's so much of it out there!

Take a look at what some friends of mine have come up with for their own blogs. One issues herself a challenge (and a damn good one, I must say). Another gushes over her love of books and stories and art. I like to find inspiration from these ladies when I can (which is why I have them so conveniently bookmarked in my Firefox toolbar).

Procrastination, U.S.A.
A yearlong experiment to motivate myself.
My friend Jessica made a list of the top 12 things she's always been saying she wants to do one day: learn Italian, run 3 miles without stopping, sew her baby blanket, start a blog. She wrote all 12 things down, put them in a hat, and on the first day of each month she draws out one of these to-do's and blogs about it. This month, she's painting her own pottery and catching up with old friends.

Marcel/Marcelette
Read books. Make art. Meet people. Share stories.
A good resource for underground artsy things going on around town, like the Eastside Studio Tour or Fusebox Festival. Blog author Sarah also started a local MothUp in the spirit of The Moth's popular storytelling podcast. On top of all this, Sarah writes pretty good book reviews on her blog, some of which have inspired me to either head to BookPeople or cancel my Amazon.com order.

Other blogs I like to reference are written by people I don't know personally, but maybe one day we'll be real-life friends. Or pen pals. Or, what's the equivalent of an e-pen pal? Keyboard kindred spirits? I've bookmarked their blogs as well and graze over them often to find my weekly pick-me-up, new inspiration, some fresh insight. And also just to keep in touch with my blogging buddies (ooh, that's the new pen pal!).

Color Me Katie
Written by a Brooklyn street artist and photographer.
My friend Ashley turned me on to Miss Katie last week. Check out her colorful and inspiring posts! She's like a kid at play and New York City is her playground. My favorite is her post on the presents she left for people in the park. And of course I love anything having to do with her cow-colored cat named Moo.

Your Wishcake
Written by a young southern California girl finding her way through life.
Kerri, the writer of this blog, is one of those people whose work I read and then instantly feel like we could become best friends. (I also feel this way about Sarah Vowell and Sandra Bullock; good company, I know.) Your Wishcake's honesty, good-heartedness, brilliant writing and overall splash of silliness make me look forward to thumbing through her posts about once a week.

Isn't this fun? The whole blogging world? Strange new world we live in, the way you can connect with complete strangers over the internet without ever meeting or communicating with them.

Tell you what. How about we make a deal? How about you challenge yourself to single out something unique in your life. Something that you find especially interesting, a little bit remarkable, and wholly worthy of being remarked upon. Then start a blog. Buy a journal. Create an online journal. Write down inspiring thoughts to yourself and tape them to your bathroom mirror. Try any or all of the above, and see what kind of world opens before you.

Because once these words are written down in black and white, staring at you in the face, you'll start believing what everyone else has been seeing all along. That your life is pretty incredible, full of richness and meaning. At least one small snapshot of it is. And I think that's worth discovering for yourself, don't you think?

In the meantime, happy blogging / blog reading.